As I rewatched this piece, I was surprised by how fresh it remains in my mind and body. Some dances fade a bit from memory, but this one holds on. (…)I can still feel the sensations of this dance in my body, not only of the particular steps I danced, but also the bits and pieces I helped create, transfer, and reinhabit in my colleagues. This process of mutual transference and multiply-layered collaboration was new to me, rousing both discomfort and wonder, and at the time inspired me to write the piece that appears below. It’s a pleasure now to revisit both the joy of this dance and my reflections on its creation.

In ballet, what you look like matters as much as—sometimes more than—what you can do. Ideals and expectations run almost absurdly high, and ballet is known to attract perfectionists who thrive on rigor, dedication, and discipline as much as creativity, expression, and joy. We are made to feel that we are never enough, that we will always fall short in some aspect of ourselves that we cannot change.